Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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