So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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