a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize