I wish I only lived at night.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ ππΌ
Too much dab too little lung dying π΅π΅π΅
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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