i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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