Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
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and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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i need to put some appletini on your dick
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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