Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize