So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize