12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
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I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
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We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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