Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize