did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize