just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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