I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize