People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
farters have to be the big spoon...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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