im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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