I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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