She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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