dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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