Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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