just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
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i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
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He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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