I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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