My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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