..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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