evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
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He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
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There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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