I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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