Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize