i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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