At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
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You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
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They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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