You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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