He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
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Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
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Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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