dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
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If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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