I will die if light touches me.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
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She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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