Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
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