I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize