trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
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First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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