awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize