Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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