That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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