Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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