With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
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i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
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I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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