3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We need to rekindle our bromance
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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