I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize