You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
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My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
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he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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