I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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