he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize