don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize