found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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