sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize