You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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