Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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